FOOD HAVE FEELINGS TOO YOU KNOW!

Playing around with clay is super fun.  When I was a little girl loved sculpting little tiny meals for my dolls.  Granted they never looked as good as the pre-made plastic foods that Mattel manufactured.  But for a girl that couldn’t afford the expensive stuff these tiny mediocre clay foods were acceptable for my Barbies. After college i began to experiment with polymer clay and created miniature food shaped earrings and charms and even got a chance to do the craft fair/flea market circuit.  I had a great time creating these tiny detailed pieces but it sure does take lots and lots of work.  I really appreciate how much effort goes into these sculpts.

Husband and wife team Liz and Jimmy Reed are Cuddles and Rage. This creative duo creates some pretty spectacular work. Whether its sculpting or drawing comics these two have an eye for the wacky and for the witty.  These little sculpted dioramas take up a life and story of their own.  The subtle expression on each characters faces are amazing.  I am still baffled by how they get that killer texture on the clay,  it’s really quite mind blowing.

This is how doughnuts get their sprinkles.
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This burrito seemed to have spill his guts out.
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The chocolate sauce looks so realistic on this ice cream sundae its pretty amazing.  Be careful if you keep this out in front of kids or your buddies that have the munchies.
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This pancake breakup is super sad.  I’m sure most of could relate to crying tears of butter, especially Paula Deen.
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Attack of the trash zombie food.
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This pie is so vain she needed a face lift to look beautiful.
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Cookie torture device.  I like the little cookie crumbles on the bottom of the glass.  Rest in peace cookie, you were beloved.
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Ghost chilies can indeed be pretty terrifying, and delicious.
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A comfortable pea in a pod.
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Take a look at your ice before you drink it.  Are they screaming?
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What’s with this jerk orange juice just grabbing straight through the doughnut?  I understand doughnuts irritation and love the expression on his face.
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This corn dog drama is a reoccurring comic on Cuddles and Rage.  I like to see all the drama unfold, its like a morning soap opera.
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Check out this website or by some stuff on Etsy.  They are definitely one of my favorite artists out there and they are super nice people.

http://cuddlesandrage.com/

https://www.etsy.com/shop/CuddlesAndRage

MOTHER OF DRAGONS. NO. MOTHER OF BURRITOS.

Burritos may be the most delicious meal on earth. All your favorite foods all wrapped up in a big warm tortilla.  Sometimes big enough to hold like a little baby or big enough to have a romantic moment with.  Except it wont cry for a bottle or  break your heart and most importantly it wont let you freeze in the Atlantic ocean.  

“There will always be space on my raft for you burrito.”
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The ingredients vary from place to place.
Meat, beans, rice, onion/cilantro and salsa.
Some have guacamole, sour cream, cheese lettuce and other veggies.

this one is from Boca Del Rio
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The California burrito has fries in it. Yes friends, fries.
This one is from Alberts Mexican Food
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All of them have their own charm and endearing qualities.
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I’ve been contemplating my love/hate relationship with rice in my burritos. I think rice may be the evil that breaks your burrito into a exploded mess.

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One side of the tortilla flaps open to dump all the rice right on your lap.  When a burrito explodes we all know it wasn’t a random event. Sure, we can all blame it on Sauron but I’m sure even his beautiful blazoned eye would shed a single tear.  Truly a sad event.  I suppose thats why forks exist.  But still, the “fun” in a burrito has now become defeat.

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Of course I’m not going to be the asshole that tells you the rice is the evil (even though it kinda is).

Lets think about the ingredients.

  • Sometimes its the beans-too much bean water that makes everything soggy.
  • The greasy meat– that not only saturate your arteries but also the tortilla
  • or sometimes its the guacamole and sour cream that makes the whole thing turn into a handheld slip and slide.
  • RICE!!-piece-y. Usually greasy.  Soft and hard to control.

Let’s not play the blame game.  Every burrito has a different personality and should all be treated with respect.

What if YOU are the one to blame for the explosion?
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There are many different ways to eat a burrito.
I like to unwrap and assess the situation (which side looks more stable)  I wrap the foil/paper around the less crazy bulgy side and immediatly consume the precarious side.  The stable side is what will save you.

this burrito from Chipotle was bulgy on both sides. “choose wisely.”
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At a certain point you will be able to sit your burrito down on its own little fat ass.
here’s the burrito sitting down in front me. my date, the burrito.  This ones from Taco Del Rio.
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But when you get to this section of the burrito you know you’re in the clear and you’re beyond the exploded burrito.

And this is the way way you feel.
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So even if you’re the worst burrito eater that immediately goes for the fork and knife (only ok for a wet burrito).  Although I would be mildly entertained by the person that tries to eat a wet burrito with their hands.

Get it girl!
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photo courtesy
http://thesimpsons.com
http://cartoonnetwork.com
http://www.yelp.com/biz/taco-del-rio-la-puente
http://www.yelp.com/biz/alberts-mexican-food-la-puente
http://www.yelp.com/biz/boca-del-rio-la-puente
http://www.buzzfeed.com/kincairm/12-classic-love-scenes-improved-by-a-chipotle-burr-a4wp

LEFTOVER MAGIC

Sometimes when I’m at a restaurant and scanning the menu I often think about my next days leftover meal option.
I ask myself important questions such as

“what will withstand the refrigerator elements?”
“what will I crave tomorrow?”
“what leftovers will taste delicious in burrito or taco form?”

EXAMPLE 1 Below:
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Leftover Thai food :
Pork Larb (a minced meat salad with spices-extra spicy for me obv), little jasmine rice, chopped cilantro and onions.  I toasted this whole delicious little baby in a pan to finish it off.  Don’t forget the sriracha.  Leftover whattt??

EXAMPLE 2 Below:
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Leftover Grocery Store Rotisserie Chicken:
Grab your favorite BBQ sauce (mine was Famous Dave’s Devil Spit obv because its spicy).  Saturate the shredded pieces, add chopped cilantro and onion, toss on a corn tortilla and viola!

The moral to the story here kids is: anything and everything tastes good in burrito or taco form.  The end.