There are certain types of foods that merely exist to destroy your mouth.
There are the evil foods that cut the roof of your mouth and there are the bastards that burn the shit out of your tongue.
Both classes of foods are equally as demonic and delicious.
Sometimes you forget how much damage these foods do because but we partake anyway.
I’m sure we CAN wait a few minutes to let things cool down, but I’m hungry NOW!
Plus, I’m sure its fine, right?
Are we masochists? Cocky? Idiots?
As a seasoned eater of foods and drinker of hot beverages I think I have a technique for all food and drinks. But my eagerness and hunger always proves to be my demise.
Burning your tongue via Pizza is an easy road to pain. Pizza looks so innocent, but underneath that delicious cheese sheet lies a hot steamy devil.
Cutting the roof of your mouth really sucks because if you get it good enough you can taste a hint of blood. Mmmm. Yuck.
Thanks Captain Crunch!
Crispy bread can be a sonofabitch. Please proceed with caution when eating a ciabatta sandwich. These sandwiches are quite treacherous.
Right when you get your hands on a crispy sandwich you know what you’re in for.
Get ready to go for a ride!
There’s no right way to bite into it and NOT injure yourself.
You gotta dedicate. Think of it as “extreme” eating.
So relax and take a moment to think about the next few days.
Do you need your taste buds?
Are you comfortable having a tore up mouth?
More than likely you can practice a bit of patience or try not to order the crunchiest piece of bread. Sip your coffee or blow on your soup. Lets all try and be responsible adults.


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