DISNEYLAND GLUTTON: PART ONE.

Disneyland.  The Happiest Place on Earth.  Not just for little kids and families anymore.  If you’re an adult with no kids and with plenty of disposable income to spend on yourself, you can buy yourself an annual pass.  One would wonder why you’d expose yourself to disgusting screaming children, long lines and  hordes of zombie like Disney geeks.  Well besides having a mild dusting of Disney geek in me myself, I go for the food.

Just thinking about the food at Disneyland makes me feel famished.
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While I was in college I worked as a wise cracking Jungle Cruise skipper.  Getting to know the Disneyland underbelly only fueled my fascination with it even more.  I left right before the mouse turned me into a bitter mummy forever.  Fortunately I left with a deep love for it. Disneyland is no longer my childhood dream world or my former employer. In my adult life Disney is now a place where I can go with friends to eat delicious food and people watch.

Main Street USA is a great place to people watch and enjoy a delicious Corn Dog or Turkey Leg.  There’s something rather evil and hilariously entertaining watching stressed out moms and dads (parents that are younger than me) chase after their hyperactive kids.  Those poor saps cant enjoy Disneyland in a chill leisurely manner the way I do.  I sit looking at my ten dollar churro and laugh. Maybe I’m the fool.  Disney knows how to pull a Stromboli and puppeteer us all as he did Pinocchio (never mind he had no strings) well, you know what I mean. If you play Disneyland right you can make it your own Pleasure Island…well except for turning into jackasses.  Hmm well never mind.
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I compiled a very large list that I’m going to cut down in to a few blog posts. This is my first edition of my favorite Disney foods:

  • The Fried Chicken at The Plaza Inn on Main Street at Disneyland.

This fried chicken is some of the crispiest and juiciest pieces of fried chicken ever!  I like to dip my pieces of chicken in honey or in Tabasco, which are both provided at the condiment bar at the Plaza Inn.  I only wished they served waffles and maple syrup..
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  • Bengal BBQ in Adventureland at Disneyland.

A chieftan chicken skewer in a polyneasian sauce and a banyan beef skewer in a hot and spicy peppery sauce. This is when they still served it with a whole stalk of green onions.  They recently stopped serving the onion which was rather sad for me, but then again I was probably the only fool that would eat the whole thing and stink up all of the Magic Kingdom.
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The Bacon Wrapped Asparagus is also very delicious because , bacon.
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Heres one more to wet your beak.  The vegetable skewer, which I like to dip into the Banyan sauce.  I recommend tasting this sauce if you are a fancy of anything peppery and spicy.
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  • Dole Whip and Dole Float at the Tiki Juice Bar in Adventureland at Disneyland.

Get a feel for a taste of Aloha.  Smooth creamy pineapple soft serve ice cream.  Beware! The Tiki Juice bar always has a long line, but well worth it!
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The ultimate vitamin C fix. Pineapple soft serve ice cream served on top of Dole pineapple juice. Its a tropical version of a root beer float. Refreshing, sweet and insanely delightful.
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All photos are taken by me. I hope you get a chance to go and taste some of these delights. I will compile another list of delicious favorites soon. If you need more information about eating at Disneyland, here’s a link.

https://disneyland.disney.go.com/dining/

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MY PSYCHEDELIC DREAM.

Brooklyn based illustrator Leslie A. Wood uses shapes, colors and beautiful rhythmic patterns in a way that can surely brighten your day.  These designs have been made into adorable greeting cards and unique wrapping paper.

These illustrations are imaginative and look like a lovely psychedelic dream.  Giant food you can hug, fast food repeating itself, swimming with abstract fishes, a giant walking cookie and looking into a crystal ball made of sprinkles.  This is the kind of visions a foodie has while on LSD.

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http://leslieawood.com/

 

ABSURDITY ILLUSTRATED.

Bizarre dreamlike visions finally have been illustrated into a comic strip.  At last an artist that feeds my dark and random sense of humor.

California born artist Lisa Hanawalt may be a comedic genius.  Her imagination is weird, beautiful, dirty, wicked, twisted and brilliant. Lisa is a master of anthropomorphism and is a production designer of Bojack Horseman, a new original animated series for Netflix.  Her book “My Dirty Dumb Eyes” is a collection of hilarious short comic strips that showcase all sorts of interesting glances into a world of what dogs really want, animals in hats, rumors of Anna Wintour and the secret life of chefs.  Lisa is creating a comic for my weird adult sensibilities and is constantly surprising me with new and hilarious material.

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Anna Wintour shops at Forever 21 and hates herself for it.
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The secret lives of chefs.
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Bojack Horseman on Netflix.
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The greatest book you can buy on Amazon.com
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And my personal favorite.
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http://lisahanawalt.com/

http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_1?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=lisa+hanawalt

 

 

PSYCHOLOGICAL MIND MELT.

In you’re interested in an easy creative exercise, drop a dozen paperclips on a blank sheet of paper and draw around them. Your brain will begin to imagine scenes and things that are necessarily not there. Pareidolia is a psychological phenomenon involving vague and random images or sounds as being perceived as significant.  Common examples include seeing images of animals or faces in clouds or hearing hidden messages on records when you listen to them in reverse.  Artist Victor Nunes is a master at seeing faces or scenes in random objects and drawing around them.  His sketches alone are stunning but paired with the found objects the whole thing becomes delightfully whimsical and beautiful.

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How about these creepy old men made of bread…
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https://www.facebook.com/victornunesfaces

THE FAIR IS A VERITABLE SMORGASBORD.

One of my favorite cartoons growing up in the 80’s was the movie Charlotte’s Web. There was a scene where Templeton the rat ravaged the empty fairgrounds at night looking for leftover garbage to eat.  Even as a child I loved animated food, so that scene was super entertaining to me.  Plus, I respected a proper gluttonous rat.
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Going to a County Fair is an American Tradition, like a band of Gypsies the County Fairs roll through each American city leaving behind a trail of grease.  Nothing is more Americana than crazy (questionably safe) rides, crazy (questionably safe) fried food, barn animals and feeling like a barn animal yourself after consuming thousands of calories.  Just take a look at these ridiculous food stands, I love the fact they are giant overwhelming fake food facades.  Only in America.
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Now once you enter the fairgrounds you smell all the delicious BBQ smoke and all the other foods just cooking away.  Then you begin to come to the realization.  I’m going to eat like a pig.  Like a PIG.
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Naturally you’ll start off with a few craft beers with your buddies.  Now remember, the fair is crucial for the buddy system if you want to come out of this food tour alive.  The key is delegating the expensive snack/meal purchases so you don’t overeat and don’t overspend.  I’m a fan of “tapas” style food, I like getting little bites of things.  I’ve never been a big fan of dedicating to just one meal.
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Along your journey you will encounter many temptations.  Now, feel free to indulge your cravings, but keep in mind you have a long way to go.  If you see any sort of “bacon wrapped” or “bacon battered” item, STOP!  The Nike brand would encourage you to ‘Just Do It’.  Besides you’ll  walk a lot, burning tons on calories, yada, yada, yada.
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The bacon wrapped pickles are worth a try.  The bacon is delightfully crunchy (because its deep fried) and the pickles have a crisp wet feel at the end of your bite.  Sounds kinda strange.  Because it is.  But still rather good.
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Now bacon wrapped shrimp?!  Oh my dear swine.  The bacon wrapped shrimp.  It was heavenly.  Super crispy.
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Grilled corn on the cob may be the healthiest option at the fair….well that’s before you lather mayo, Parmesan, chili and other condiments all over it.  It’s totally Mexican street Paleta style.
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(Don’t forget the garlic salt and the Tapatio…an absolute must!)
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The LA County Fair now has various food trucks serving new trendy food options.  A teriyaki ramen burger is all the rage right now.  Not bad, but I’m still not sure what all the fuss is about.
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Now, let me discuss the heavyweight class.  The quintessential ‘MERICA’ FUCK YEA’ food.  The Krispy Kreme Triple Cheeseburger.  This is one you must share with several of your friends.  If this is something you polish off solo…well I’m sure there are ambulances nearby to help resuscitate your poor heart.  But I would recommend at least tasting this once in your life, the sweet and savory go surprisingly well together.  But really, lets call a spade a spade, this beast is a disgusting sticky mess.
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The county fair is nothing without a bunch of sweets to get all the kids hopped up on way too much sugar.  Like these cinnamon and sugar donuts. Mmmm do-nuts.
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If deep fried dough is not your thing.  How about pure unadulterated liquid RED?  Pure sugar straight tapped to the veins.  This snow cone will leave you looking a mess.  Make sure you choose your color wisely because that will be your new tongue and lipstick color for the next few hours.
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Now my favorite dessert.  I’m usually not a big fan of sweets AT ALL.  Well, except for macaroons and soft serve ice cream.  Not regular ice cream.  Soft serve ice cream!  Soft serve is like the down comforter of the desserts.  Soft, smooth and creamy enough to melt into.

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Luckily this event is only once a year because my heart can only handle this insanity but once a year.   This is not the way to live, eating this way will certainly clog your arteries.  Riding the scary makeshift rides that are folded up and built by carnies is probably not the safest thing to do everyday of your life.  But once a year?  Hell yea, I’ll eat like shit and get on the sketchy Ferris wheel to marvel at this stunning view.
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CUTE INANIMATE OBJECTS HOLDING HANDS.

Dot eyes and stick figure legs never looked so good. I mean, get a load of these little foods holding hands.  Oh my god…..I just cant handle how cute these characters are.  Food holding hands? Awwww.  Sandwiches driving cars, a taco playing the saxophone and a Lord of the Rings reference?  Hell yes.  These delectable little bites are created by artist Matt Caputo of New Jersey.  I’m truly impressed by the fine details in these drawings.  Considering these are little cartoon foods they really do leave me quite hungry.  Can I have an ice cream please?  And make sure hes holding hands with a burger please.

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http://instagram.com/mattdrawsthings

HA HA. VERY PUNNY.

My love for a good pun will never die.  I can’t get enough of hearing the groans people make after you say a clever pun, it truly is priceless.  Sometimes puns could be so bad/good they can hurt.
South African graphic designer and illustrator Jaco Haasbroek puns beautifully.  He has a great sense of humor and illustrates it perfectly.  His witty humor and adorable characters will surely put a smile on any face.

Here’s an illustration that Ron Swanson would appreciate.
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The breakfast club.
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The egg-celent breakfast of champions.
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This is why piggies have curly tails.
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Different shades of T.
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Lettuce put our hands together for Jaco Haasbroek.
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http://jacohaasbroek.com/